Ken Lawrence - Life Coach

Equip - Enthuse - Empower

relationships

Two Sides to Every Story

Proverbs 18:17 says, “The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.” Another way of saying this is “there are two sides to every story.” How many times have you experienced this proverb? You hear someone tell about some unjust situation (usually they are complaining about what someone did to them). Hearing their side of the story you instantly side with them, agreeing that they were unjustly treated and the perpetrator is a scoundrel. You side with the one you heard first.

But then later you hear the second party’s side of the story and you realize that they were justified in their actions, it wasn’t malicious or unjust, the other person just didn’t agree with the decision. Have you experienced this before?

Or perhaps you were the second party and you have experienced the wrath of a “disinterested third party” who believed the first party’s story and took up offense for them without ever coming to you to verify the facts of the situation.

We can all learn from this proverb by not jumping to conclusions with only half of the story. Successful leaders must learn this skill to maintain the respect of those they lead. If you become known as someone who believes the first thing you hear you will be a manipulated puppet of those you are supposed to be leading.

Likewise, if you are known as someone who believes the last thing you hear you will be seen as week and easily swayed. This person is like the character of Coach from the 1980s sitcom Cheers. Someone would say something to Coach and he would echo their sentiments as if they we concrete elements of truth. Then someone would rebut what the first person would say and Coach would agree with them and declare his new “fact” in complete contradiction to his first statement.

While this behavior makes for good comedy on TV, it is terrible for leadership in the workplace, in the church, or in the home. As a successful leader we must keep Proverbs  18:17 in mind, search out both sides of the story and weigh all the facts before we make a decision. Taking sides without knowing all the facts will kill a leader’s reputation and weaken your ability to lead effectively.

A good thing to remember in managing conflict between others is: If you are not part of the problem or part of the solution, stay out of it or you will add to the problem and hinder the solution.

Helping you live life abundantly,

Life Coach Ken

Are You Ready?

Death comes suddenly, are you ready for it? It has been a rough few weeks for me emotionally.  In the last three weeks two of my friends died suddenly. On was on vacation and collapsed in his hotel room. One died in his sleep. His wife went in to find out why he wasn’t up yet and found that he had died. Both of these men were only in their 60s when the Lord determined their time on this earth was over and it was time to bring them home.

Are you ready for when your time runs out? Too many of us live as if tomorrow is guaranteed. We put off our dreams and goals for later thinking someday we will get to them. For far too many someday never comes.

It is so very important that we make the most out of our limited time in this life. We need to make every day count because we do not know how many days the Lord is going to give us on this earth. He wants us to be good stewards of all He gives us, including the days He gives us to live this life. That is why having a life roadmap is so vitally important. It helps you live a life of purpose, making the most out of every day of your life.

A life roadmap is a vision for where you want to go in life and a step-by-step plan for getting you there. I like to think of it as the AAA Trip-Tik for your life. A life roadmap sets you up to achieve your life purpose and to fulfill your God-given potential so even if your life ends sooner than you expected you will have accomplished much with the time God has given you.

Have you been living life or has life been living you? Do you feel like you are stuck in a rut? Do you feel lost or out of control? Or maybe you just want to accomplish more with your life than you have up to this point. I’d like to help you crystallize your vision and develop your life roadmap.

I will be leading a series of Life Roadmap Retreats where I will help men and couples create a roadmap for their life. The retreats will be unique in that they are limited to just three men or couples at each retreat. These retreats will be a weekend for you to get away from the daily busyness of life and focus on your life’s purpose, your passions and your calling.

The first retreats for men will be in November. Beginning next year we will offer more retreats for men and some for couples. If you are interested in attending one of our Life Roadmap Retreats visit www.MinistryHaven.com/LifeRoadmap to register or to find out more information.

Everyone plans their wedding but few plan their marriage. Everyone plans their vacations but few plan their life. If you don’t plan your life then life will plan it for you. Don’t be one of those who go through life without a plan, without a vision and without a purpose. Check out our Life Roadmap Retreat and get your life on the right road, the one God wants you on.

Helping you live life abundantly,

Life Coach Ken

 

Two things that shape your future

“You are the same today that you are going to be five years from now except for two things: the people with whom you associate and the books you read.” – Charlie “Tremendous” Jones.

I love this quote by Charlie Jones. It is so true. No two things affect our success more than the people we associate with and the books we read. If you surround yourself with negative people who complain about everything they will sap your energy and motivation and you will become like them.

If you surround yourself with successful people who talk about vision, overcoming obstacles, and achievement, they will energize you and motivate you to succeed. I don’t know who originated the thought but many have expressed it. It goes something like this: If you look around at your group of friends and you are the most successful, smartest of the bunch, than you need a new group of friends.

To put it another way, to be truly successful in life you need to surround yourself with three types of people. You need a Paul, a Barnabas, and a Timothy. You need a Paul in your life, someone who is more experienced, more successful, a mentor or life coach who can help you achieve your full, God-given potential. You need someone who will push you, encourage you and inspire you to greater heights.

You also need a Barnabas, a peer, someone to travel this journey with. A Barnabas is a fellow soldier in the battle. He is someone who can pick you up when we stumble and someone you can help up when he stumbles.

Finally, you also need a Timothy, a younger person you can invest in, someone you can be a Paul to. Having a Timothy allows you to give back into someone else’s life. It gets your focus off of yourself and on to helping others. I have found in my life that it is by helping others that I really grow the most.

As for the books you read, I have never been a big reader myself. In the past the only regular reading I have done is to read my Bible. I also read an occasional business or self-improvement book and those were usually audio books. As I have learned the value of reading (that includes listening to audio books) I have slowly tried to increase the amount of reading I do each year. I still have a long way to go, but I have found that the more I read, the more I learn, and the more focused I become on achieving my goals.

The average person reads only one or two books a year. So you can become above average and be better informed than most people around you simply by reading more than two books a year. I have set a goal to read one book a month. I also have subscribed to several magazines that I will be reading throughout the year. My reading list will still be primarily the Bible, business and self-improvement books, but I will be reading more of them in specific areas that will help me reach my goals.

I encourage you to take a look at these two areas of your life: the people you associate with and the books you read. Are they helping you reach your life goals or are they stumbling blocks. Are the people in your life encouraging you to achieve your best, or are they joy suckers who discourage and hold you back? Maybe a change is in order.

What about the books you read? Are you reading books that breed discontent in your life, or are you reading things that inspire and encourage you to be successful and reach your God-given potential? Do you read your Bible regularly and base your life’s values and goals on God’s wisdom? Examine this area of your life and make whatever changes are needed to get on the path of success.

This week, take a look at the people you associate with and the books you read and ask yourself, “Are they helping me grow and change, or will I be the same five years from now as I am today because of them.”

Helping you press on toward the prize,

Life Coach Ken

Helping you live life abundantly